scarylady

I need to post this now, while it's still fresh in my mind.

When we started to talk about getting married, nearly 3 years ago, we wanted something pretty specific and non-standard.

We wanted a spiritualist ceremony somewhere big enough to hold as many of our friends who wanted to be there. We wanted afternoon tea with those friends, conversation, fun and laughter. We wanted to spend the evening together in a nice hotel, get out of our wedding clothes, have a bath, have our dinner brought to our room and eat it in our bathrobes. Drink wine together and talk over our day.

It didn't seem possible that we could have all that. Our budget was small, and our needs were outside the mainstream.

Thanks to the wonderful community of Longton Church, our lovely generous friends who worked hard for us, our spirit friends quietly working behind the scenes to direct us where we needed to be, we got EVERYTHING we wanted.

Yesterday was the perfect day.

The Church, decorated ready for Harvest Festival today, looked gorgeous. ellistar was dapper and sexy. I felt beautiful and loved, as every bride hopes to. We didn't cry during our vows, but only by not catching each others eye too much; every time it got too emotional one of us would studiously look away. Our photographer was lovely and unobtrusive. Afternoon tea was marvellous, especially velvet_the_cat's spectacular meringues. Our wedding cake, made by Em sans lj was gloriously chocolatey. ellistar and I were hugged and kissed by so many, many wonderful friends that his buttonhole got utterly flattened. And then we were whisked away to Mottram Hall Hotel, to a splendid room with a four poster bed and a terrace looking out over the lake, courtesy of a group of friends who clubbed together as their gift to us. We sat on the terrace in our wedding attire and opened all our cards and gifts, bathed, changed, dined and found time for each other, the rarest gift that so few couples find on their wedding day.

At 2am I woke up and thought back over the day, and cried my heart out in an outpouring of joy so huge that I just couldn't contain it. Our physical forms are too small a vessel to contain so much love and joy for long.

Thank you to all those who came, all those who couldn't come but thought of us, special thanks to all those who gave their time and effort generously for us; Em & Andy sans lj, paulbenwell, noj sans lj, velvet_the_cat, tamsin sans lj, june, joyce, arthur and the rest at Longton.

*sniffle*

Normal, biting, caustic service may now be resumed.

We are finally seeing the end of the to do list.

[Tick] Wedding rehearsal last night - walked five times down the aisle with my stepdad vibrating nervously beside me, and Em still thinks I take too big a step. Suck it up bridesmaid.

[Tick] ellistar had facial today.

[Tick] Typed up the Order of Service.

I still need to hem my dress, but everything else that can be done in advance is done, I think. Everything else is scheduled events, like picking up suits, dropping off cakes and stuff.

I am soooooo looking forward to writing Auntie Em's to do list for her wedding next year. Anyone got a piece of paper 5 foot long?

Ok, goddamned journal has now decided to show my user names and links as text. I give up.

Link to American Red Cross is here

Having just read back over my previous entries I feel the need to update my journal on the subject of sitting for trance. Anyone is welcome to read this, but it is actually just for me so when I look back I know how we had progressed as this stage.

( trance update )

On Saturday afternoon a tidal wave of testosterone descended upon my home to swoop up ellistar, and take him to his stag do.

I had left it too late to arrange a corresponding hen party as female diaries tend to be much more complex entities than their male equivalent. Upon reflection I had decided that this was probably a good thing as it really wasn't what I wanted anyway.

What I hatched instead was a cunning plan.

Once upon a time there was a Coven of Four and wherever there were larpers, men feared their schemes. But time and distance and the aforementioned complex diaries had divided them, and for 9 years now they had failed to meet. They had, perhaps, been in the same field with many other people, but not alone in a true Coven Meeting.

So I invoked the Power of the Bride and pressured them remorselessly. Their relentless diaries crumbled before this one-shot item, and the Coven; Auntie Em (sans LJ), Anne (who really ought to get a user-name instead of pussyfooting around behind the scenes), westernind, and myself, got together and ate Sushi and drank Pink Champagne. A splendid time was had by all; and it had better NOT be another 9 years before it happens again.

It's ages since I posted properly. There is a reason for this. I didn't want to drag you all through the trivia of my days at such a time as this. It would be boring to everyone, including me.

I have had a dreadful couple of months wading through the crap that precedes a wedding. I hate, loathe and detest this kind of organisation; which is why we ducked it for 2 years and only knuckled down when virtually frogmarched into the process by Auntie Em. I hate it, hate it, hate it and I look longingly towards the day AFTER the wedding, when I don't have to do this any more.

My life has been filled with wedding agony. With four weeks till the day I am still only half way through my dress. I have been up to my eyeballs in tulle for two months. I will not go into the traumas I have endured, but I have a single message to all those ladies considering getting married.

DO NOT MAKE YOUR OWN DRESS.

I also hate having to be a girlie girl. I hate having to book a facial, and a hair/makeup walkthrough. I hate Auntie Em determinedly waving fake nails at me.

Most of all I hate obsessing at poor ellistar about it all day after day. Especially as the patience he displays with me proves every day that my choice is good.

*deep breath*

OK, that's it. We will not speak of this again.

A suggestion made for my hen night (day) is to take an all female party to an LRP system Apart from having a background in Nemesis, I am a festy type of person so don't really know what's out there. Does anyone have any suggestions for a system who could accomodate us - preferably one that won't mind us cluttering up one of their adventure slots with a set of characters they aren't likely to see again?

This is currently just an idea, so feel free to make alternative related suggestions if they occur.

You know how some people you see all the time and that is cool; you talk, you don't talk, you're comfortable and it doesn't matter?

Others you see occasionally, you talk, and that's OK, but you don't know them well enough/aren't comfortable enough to be really cosy with them?

And then there's the rare special kind; you see them regularly, you see them occasionally, you see them practically never and it doesn't make the tiniest scrap of difference. Ten minutes back into their company and it's like they never left. I have enjoyed a weekend in the company of just such a person. westernind is my oldest friend (that I still have any remaining contact with at all). We were at University together, studying the surprisingly useful subject of Philosophy; not such a long a time ago as for some, seeing as we were both mature studes, but a good chunky 12 years ago nonetheless.

It has been a fine weekend. I got to marvel at the sheer difference that training has made to westernind's voice, she got to marvel at how little anything changes in the North, ever, and I'm relieved to say that she has dug me out of the Pit of Fear caused by having £200 worth of silk to construct into a wedding dress that is not exactly a standard design. I can now roll my sleeves up and get to it.

Cheers Roz.